Theatre

Light Feather, Stiff Board

Louis DeVaughn Nelson

Louis DeVaughn Nelson

— 5 min read
Light Feather, Stiff Board
Artwork: "Towards the Forest II" by Edvard Munch, 1915

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

LILITH - F, 30s, High Priestess, strong and wise.
JO - Any, 30s, Subservient to Lilith, naïve.
YOLANDA - F, 20s, Sassy and amicable city girl.
XAVIER - M, 20s, Boisterous nerdy hipster.


SETTING

Apartment balcony in an urban city.


TIME

Present day, dawn.


ACT I, Scene 1.

(Lights come up to a private balcony. The set should be as minimal as possible with a small bench or altar, several pillows/blankets, a small grill or warming device with a makeshift cauldron, and a shitload of candles. There is witch accoutrement everywhere. At rise, LILITH and JO are tending to preparation for a spell while classical music is blaring from a portable speaker. YOLANDA is passed out. After a few moments and several sips of wine, XAVIER bursts in with a shopping bag.)


XAVIER
What are you witches doing out here it’s 5 in the morning!


LILITH
Xavier! You’re just in time!


(LILITH turns off the music. JO pats a seat next to her, XAVIER hesitates.)


XAVIER
Don’t mind if I don’t.


JO
Aw, come on sailor, it won’t hurt too much.


XAVIER
What did you do to my girl?


(XAVIER checks on YOLANDA, she stumbles awake and brings him down to her for cuddles.)


YOLANDA
Huggy bear!


XAVIER
Hey babe.


YOLANDA
What you got there?


(XAVIER unpacks.)


XAVIER
Let’s see, I got you some crackers…they were out of ginger ale so I got you some sprite.


YOLANDA
Aw…


LILITH
Yolanda, could you please…


YOLANDA
What?


LILITH
We’ve talked about this.


JO

(under her breath)
It’s not the right energy.


YOLANDA
We can go inside, it’s not like y’all need me for this part.


LILITH
Ah ah ah, but we do –


JO
Yes…


LILITH
-we do child. And your beast will come in handy later.


XAVIER
I could just wait in –


(YOLANDA sits up.)


YOLANDA
No. No. Jo was allowed to have Sue join us for the entire incantation yesterday so I don’t see how -


JO
This is not up for dis -


LILITH
Wait wait wait –


(beat)


JO
Was there a shift?


(LILITH closes her eyes and opens her palms towards the sun.)


LILITH (to XAVIER)
Give me your hand, scalawag.


(LILITH pulls a joint out of XAVIER’s hand.)


XAVIER
Busted.


(LILITH and XAVIER laugh, the other two are not amused.)


YOLANDA
Really? Really.


(XAVIER comforts YOLANDA.)


XAVIER
Sorry babe.


LILITH
You need nature’s cure, and he’s the only one who’s up at this hour.


YOLANDA
I’m fine I don’t –


LILITH
Don’t lose trust in me because of a little prank, dear. This will help you heal.


YOLANDA
But I’m fine, it wasn’t even that big of a –


XAVIER
It kind of was, babe, I mean we lost a –


LILITH
Not lost.


JO
Definitely not lost.


(LILITH inspects the joint, sniffs it, etc.)


LILITH
No no no, this will not do. Jo, bring me the anointing oil, lemongrass, and the censer from the cupboard!


(JO exits and tends to the fetching while LILITH eyes some of the foliage in the planting pot and begins to pick some leaves.)


JO
Yes, Priestess.


LILITH
And some extra charcoal.


(JO bows, it's awkward. LILITH hands the joint to YOLANDA, who instinctively begins to unroll it. XAVIER is amused.)


LILITH
A little Echinacea, a few bay leaves, some lavender—and a hint of mint, for flavor.


XAVIER
Sounds delicious!


YOLANDA
I don’t really know if I’m ready to do this, like, right now.


(nodding her head “yes”)


LILITH
No no no, in due time my love. When the moon is right, the energy flows, and the goddess gives us the cue.


(LILITH takes YOLANDA’s face in her free hand and caresses her face with the herbs.)


XAVIER
Do you think this is going to work?


(Boisterous laughter from LILITH as JO re-enters with the goods.)


JO
Did the mortal tell another one of his dad jokes?


XAVIER
No, I am the joke remember?


YOLANDA
Aw, ha ha ha.


(LILITH tends to the goods and begins to arrange them according to plan. XAVIER pulls out his smartphone. Suddenly, loud pornography is heard.)


JO
Are you being serious right now?


XAVIER
Whoops, sorry! Thought I closed that app when I got on the subway.


YOLANDA
Babe, you’re literally the worst.


(JO tends to helping YOLANDA break up the weed.)


XAVIER
I know.


JO
We really prefer that you don’t engage with social media in the presence of the white light, right Lilith?


LILITH
It is of no matter. Rise above it dear, rise…


YOLANDA
What are you even doing?


XAVIER
I found this good joke earlier –


(Moans.)


XAVIER (CONT'D)
And, no—it’s a good one.


YOLANDA
Mhmm.

LILITH
Right.

JO
Please don’t.


XAVIER
Ooh, I remember: “What’s a sailor’s least favorite vegetable?”


JO
Your mom.


XAVIER
Hardy har har. No.


YOLANDA
Just get it over with.


XAVIER
Leeks!


(YOLANDA and LILITH laugh a bit, JO rolls their eyes.)


YOLANDA
Oh no!


JO
You really know how to –


XAVIER
You reminded me with the “hey sailor” bit earlier.


JO
It was a double entendre about your semen, fool, the only thing you’re good for.


LILITH
Ah ah ah – we must keep the air devoid of negativity in this moment right now. I need a welcoming circle before we start the suffumigation.


YOLANDA
We’re not doing that now, not here, the neighbors will –


LILITH
Don’t worry, my child, the neighbors won’t see or smell a thing.


JO
Yes Priestess.


(LILITH’s eyes roll into the back of her head.)


LILITH
Specialis Recogno.
Specialis Recogno.
Specialis Recogno.


YOLANDA
Was that really necessary?


LILITH
Prepare the fire and coals, please.


YOLANDA
But I told you I –


(LILITH lifts an arm toward YOLANDA, she and XAVIER stiffen. JO is enthralled and tends to the task.)


LILITH
Enough of these words! We had a deal.


(LILITH picks up a stone and turns to YOLANDA and XAVIER. JO stands behind her, ready. XAVIER tries to protect YOLANDA fruitlessly.)


YOLANDA
But, Priestess, I already gave you –
Please, don’t…


LILITH
In nome di San Pietro
E di San Biagio
Fate che da questa pietra
Io possa vedere che forma
Fanno gli spiriti


(XAVIER and YOLANDA are hypnotized.)


JO and LILITH
De profundis clamao
In te Domine, Domine!
Et Domine, et fiantatis,
Bugsein et regina maternal,
Edognis Domine!


(Smoke rises, LILITH’s power increases. JO kneels and continues.)


JO and LILITH
De profundis clamao
In te Domine, Domine!
Et Domine, et fiantatis,
Bugsein et regina maternal,
Edognis Domine!
De profundis clamao
In te Domine, Domine!


(JO heads for YOLANDA, she yanks a hair out of her head and then does the same with XAVIER. She offers it to LILITH.)


LILITH
Jo, Jo, Jo. My darling darling darling Jo…


JO
Yes Priestess?


LILITH
We’ve come a long way, but I’m afraid I can’t take you with me.


JO
Wait what?


LILITH
I’ve heard the spirits cry, I feel their rage, I understand their want.


JO
But –


LILITH
Shh, shh, shh. I am needed on the other side.


JO
I understand, Priestess, though I –


(XAVIER and YOLANDA stammer. LILITH throws an invisible blow their way that silences them.)


LILITH
Fret not. You’ve done my bidding well, and you will be paid handsomely, my love. But this world, with its crying over spilled soy milk while starving children sew sweaters with their bloody little fingers and everything with a Y chromosome can’t seem to handle the barest of minimums, and law makers want to oppress the sacred functions of the female form and our precious resources are a fantastic luxury – only a dream to those who appreciate them the most.


JO
You have work to do.


LILITH
Yes yes yes. I do – and I cannot perform these dire tasks here on this side, I must become amorphous and an impervious entity in order to infiltrate the evils of this horrid place.



It saddens me to leave you – but in due time I’ll find a place for you as well.


JO
Yes Priestess.


LILITH
Now, perform the extraction and we shall begin…


(JO begins to address XAVIER and YOLANDA. They struggle and scream as LILITH begins maniacal laughter. The lights fade to black.)


End of play.

Read more